OKAY THAT'S IT.

Okay, listen guys. For the last month and a half, I've been trying to uncover the reason for why I neglect this blog, instead of actually writing in this blog. THE THING IS, I'm starting to realize that it's really janking hard to whip out a tasty blog post almost everyday. You see writing a blog is like making love, no matter how many times I do it, I still cry at the end. Why don't girls ever care about my feelings? JUST kidding mom. My virginity has better security than Lil Wayne's comfortable Beverly Hills mansion. Lil Wayne: the only man allegedly capable of killing a police officer, sleeping with a police officer, and a making the Kidz Bop Top Ten List, four years running. Let's face it man, you are past your prime. Step down from your sudo-gangster soapbox, and make way for a real artist:

Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the Pamper's Deluxe Home Changing Station.

I would make more jokes about this squandered use of life, but he's already got it pretty bad; he's from Canada. Some people might take offense to that and say "Hey man. Canada has lots to offer". I would hate Canada had it not been for their delectable... moose meat? No. Ski resorts? No. Hockey? No. Hockey fights? No, we have UFC. Lets face it folks, Cananda literally has nothing to offer us. Let's be the bigger man here (obesity epidemic jokes not intended), and toast these guys already. Ooh, watch out for the scary Canadian mountaineers, with their big, bad horseback calvary. I'm sorry horse-lovers, but even countries like Uzbekapakigoliprussiastan have tanks by now. They might win, only, if the Global War Lawmaking Committee rules that wars are decided by horseback polo matches. Then we have no choice but to unconditionally surrender.

Welp. It'll be another 5 months until I post anything.
-Con.