Glenwood Cheering Stimulus Plan.

HEY. I haven't posted in 3 days. I apologize for the laziness. Please still accept me and invite me to social events. PLEASE. I'm a little jittery right now, and no, it's not because of drugs; I'm just itching to tell you something. This post is perhaps the most important post I will ever write. ever. AND it strictly pertains to Glenwood High School.

We all know our student section is mediocre. Scratch that. It's loathsome. A local newspaper recently cited several excellent student sections, not including Glenwood. Now, I know we are not raiders fans:

You are never too old to embarrass your wife.

but we are quickly being pinned as the weakest cheering section in the CS8 (with a capable football team). SO, in order for us to not leave a lingering legacy of a loathsome, lazy, and lamenting student section; we must strive for volume, vulgarity, and increase the viscosity of the valor in our veins! A few patriots have come up with some revolutionary ideas for us to pry open a can of whoop-ass.

You can't censor nature.

Here are some of the ideas myself, StuCo, and others have devised:


1. Have a flag bearer, for football, waving a majestic flag with the GT logo embossed upon every time we score. This could also work for basketball.


2. Move the student section for basketball back to the other side of the gym, except this time put us behind our own team. This way we can keep Rourke happy and be in the better side of the gym.


3. Have shirts for different types of nights. Black shirts for "lights out" and white shirts for "white out". These would have the Glenwood fight song on the back, SINCE NOBODY KNOWS IT. To my shame I also do not know it, BUT this would make it hella-easy.


4. PARTY BUS. This is my favorite idea. Remember when we used to have a fan bus when our teams went to state? This is the cooler version. When we go to away games, a bus full of raucous students would show up, blasting 80's dance music, and sirens blazing. So, instead of our fans showing up one by one, the away gym would instantly be filled with a bunch of rowdy Glenwood students. Don't think we're not rowdy. WE IGNITE FLAMETHROWERS IN THE BATHROOM DOG. Real talk.


5. Have better cheers. Pretty simple really. A few people in the front of the cheering section will yell out what they want to do, and all the rest of us will have to do is follow suit. 


People of Glenwood, we can do this. All we really need to do is step out of that comfort zone, and say a cheer for once. We only go through the high school experience once, so why not try and make it worth remembering?


Shout out to Mark Riseman. A good looking guy.


-Connor.

Sound.

I am totally convinced that mankind would crumble apart without music. We cannot fathom how many functions music serves to keep our world intact. Music surmounts all barriers; whether they be racial, mental, or situational. It can match any emotion or event with its immense variety and depth of every feeling. It has certainly been there for me, always revealing itself in times of need, and I know its been there for you too.

Here is a list of a few songs (not in any sort of order) that have helped me keep my sanity:

1. Dig by Incubus

    This song has a really good message, thats applicable to almost everybody.

2. Soundtrack 2 My Life by Kid Cudi

    This guy has so much thought worked into his songs. Its almost like the modern version of blues.

3. Jumper by Third Eye Blind

    I wonder how many friendships this song has saved. Very inspiring.

4. I Miss You by Incubus

    I know I already have an Incubus song, but if you've ever lost somebody - you will appreciate this one.

5. Gravity by John Mayer

    He's really overplayed sometimes, but he's still good. Really like the mood of this song.

6. Breathing by Yellowcard

    A little whiny, but really like the mix of instrumentals this band offers.

7. Panic Prone by Chevelle

    One of my all time favorite songs, by my favorite band.

8. Clocks by Coldplay

    That one movie with Paul Rudd almost ruined this one for me, but it's super chill.

9. Hole In The Earth by Deftones

    This song is actually pretty heavy, but I like the ambient vocals. 

10. Under The Bridge by The Red Hot Chili Peppers

    Yet another of my all time favorite songs, by my second favorite band.

I kinda realized this list mostly consists of slower, melancholy songs, so don't think this is all I listen to. But someone asked me what song I think describes me the closest a few days ago. Although some points are off, and its true message hard to detect, All Hail The Heartbreaker by The Spill Canvas is the closest match.

I PROMISE no more whiny boo boo stuff tomorrow. Night.

One Of Those Days.

I've had one of those days, where no amount of yelling, pondering, crying, laughing, or furiously typing can shake the feeling of plain melancholy. So here is this long sigh:

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Goodnight.

I Must Be Crazy.

QUESTION TIME.

1. Why is it, that every time I wake up in the morning, my exact motions play out like this: open eyes, lift neck, bang head on useless metal decoration, curse the world, miss the alarm button several times and knock change off dresser, swing legs off of bed, hit left knee on dresser, yell some colorful street language, stand up, clutch hurting back, put change back on dresser, walk towards door, and hit right knee on doorframe. WITHOUT fail, this always happens. Am I really that dry and predictable? Or am I some kind of humanoid robot, that is utterly irresistible to the female gender?

2. How come schools don't provide nap time anymore? Now, before you scoff and say, "That Connor sho' is a triflin' fool", consider this: out of all age groups, teenagers need the most sleep. Think about having a special study hall right after lunch where they provide cots and gingerly play John Mayer in the background. Not only would that be clutch, it would be uber chill.

3. Why do men have nipples? Just kidding. Men have nipples because they look dynamite, bro.

OB- Original Bro.

4. Why do seniors have to actually give an effort senior year? Why can't we frolic around in letterman jackets, whilst shoving dweebs into lockers like you see in the movies? Why am I not friends with Bartlbey Gaines from Accepted?

I realize that none of these are legitimate questions. But do you realize that I'm writing this post with my shirt off? Of course not. That would be silly, unless of course you had X-Ray vision, but that is also silly. I'm just a silly guy.


And a shout out goes to Trey Anderson, who is probably the bro-est bro to ever live. He carries a competition weight frisbee (180g).

Is it just me...

Today I realized that I had not sat down intentionally and watched T.V. for a few weeks. I KNOW RIGHT? My pants were beginning to ride dangerously close to my belly button and I was quoting the Sound of Music. But seriously, I was feeling absurdly lame, and I reasoned that some rebellious television programming would give me some needed culture. I had never felt so disappointed.

The next hour was...emotionless. Literally every channel, program and show did not extract any emotions or interest me in the slightest. "I'm an emotional guy", I thought. Why wasn't it stimulating? I used to be such an avid T.V. watcher. My addiction was comparable to Jim Carrey in Cable Guy.

This movie was fantastic. I recommend it!

Then I realized movies like Cable Guy, or shows for that matter, just don't come around as often. It seems as if all I ever knew as a child is slowly leaving me, making way for utterly crappy replacements. Like what happened to Spongebob? After season 4, it was nautical nausea (hardcore fan joke). I miss when Mel Gibson was still cool and kept his physical abuse to a minimum. I AM UPSET, but I guess I shouldn't be too harsh. Let's be truthful fellow 90's kids, our childhood T.V. shows grab today's programs by the love handles, and eat them for dinner. Old MTV would pop pills Kurt Cobain style and pulverize new MTV's Bieber Fever. Hey Arnold would lessen more racial tension than Everybody Hates Chris. The Amanda Show would curb stomp Hannah Montana until Miley Cyrus also forgot her real identity. Actually that sounds kind of hot, but I digress.

Alas, my anger is ill-founded. I don't even watch T.V. that much anyway, although it would be nice to see some quality entertainment every once in a while. All this nostalgia talk is making me feel old and feeble. Especially since I just ate some shrimp AND REALIZED I WAS ALLERGIC. That was the real killer. 

Shout out to Nicole Pappas, my lawfully wedded girlfriend. I heart inside jokes.

Friends and Charles Barkley.

I'm feeling frisky right now. Oh yes. It's the time of night where my homework still lies uncompleted, but my sloth mentality has worn off. Whatever follows next is a result of pure spontaneity and lust for acceptance by my peers. 


Ah. Friends. Take a moment to think of every friend you've ever had; since your first to your current set. How many have changed? Stayed with you this entire time? I can't even begin to fathom how my friends have influenced me, and I'm proud to say its ultimately been for the better. I'm not proud of the sad truth, however, that I have burned many bridges, and left some relationships wounded and unresolved. Part of this is mostly a direct consequence of pursuing friendships that are vain and ill-purposed; just for my greed of wanting lots of friends. There I said it. I am addicted to having a surplus of friends. It's a problem that has had many complicated repercussions for me, especially when it comes to choosing whom to hangout with. The choice always comes down to, more often than not, picking one group over another. You can probably imagine all sorts of douchy excuses I have used. The worst consequence is, by far, is spacing yourself from friends that actually mean something to you. Ugh. In the immortal words of Charles Barkely "That's Turrible".


LUCKILY I have an awesome set of close friends (you know who you are), that keep me honest and my jerk status to a minimum. Thank you guys (and gals). I guess these incessant ramblings of mine are my way of saying, talk to those friends you've grown apart from. Say hi to people that have moved away from you. I don't think you'll regret it.


WHOA. I'm sorry I just dumped a fecal-rhino-loads-worth of emotions on you. Tomorrow's will be full of sunshine and UNICORNS.

Ahem.

I need to chill out. Like, every time I'm in hulk-smash mode, somebody tells me they want to kill me. Seriously, without fail, "I want to f***ing kill you bro" always follows my shenanigans. Warnings? No. Promises? Yep.

I hope I was kidding just then. Anyway, a couple of people have asked me whose blog this is every time I post. Well, hi my name is Connor, and the blog I post- is my blog. Wouldn't be odd if I just posted someone else's blog as soon as they wrote something, everyday? I don't blame you though, sometimes I feel like real-world-Connor is much more obnoxious than plain ol' blog-Connor. Much like my alternate persona "Chet" is favored over my actual personality. That's sad. I guess I'll try to work on that.

I am all over the place tonight. I just watched Jackass 3D, so my brains a little fried. 3D movies make me jittery, and more passionate than usual for pelvic thrusting. But don't worry, I'm not going to review Jackass right now or anything. Movies of that nature cannot be rationalized. If you are worrying: chillax and listen to some John Mayer.

I can't move my fingers very well so I might just stop typing right in the middl.......

OMG. Big news.

Ha ha this post is actually not going to be as exciting as the title leads you to think. Sorry. However, I am officially making thursdays: "Hat Tippin' and Thumb Bitin' Thursdays". Which roughly means I'm going to bore you with what I have found interesting in the past week, and what I have absolutely loathed. This should give you helpless plebeians some much needed structure.

TIP OF THE HAT goes to the youtube sensation Keyboard Cat. I was having an I-want-to-strangle-old-people day, and I stumbled upon this video. Soon enough I was grinning like Gary Busey.

Plastic Surgery Nightmare

To be honest the video is extremely cheesy and caters towards middle-aged women...but that furry bastard was tearing the keyboard up. Excuse my language. Expect better hat tips in the future.

BITE OF THE THUMB goes to Facebook groups involving the word "real". As in: A real boyfriend doesnt lie, hurt, cheat or hit their girlfriend. First of all, if the boyfriend is not real, does that mean he's imaginary? Or irrational (math jokes)? I think they meant "ideal". BUT GUESS WHAT LADIES, we guys will never be a prince charming, take you away on a carpet like Aladdin, or sprout rainbows from our butt cheeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm not endorsing beating or cheating on your girlfriend. But we are human, and we will lie. Of course, we can certainly strive to be better at the sensitive things, but you need to lower your expectations of our mating skills. We don't all know a kindly old friar that gives us relationship advice and illegal drugs (Romeo and Juliet). So enjoy our cheesy jokes and awkward conversations at parties, okay ladies?

I have this odd feeling that more and more people hate me everyday, just because of this blog. Like, a cult of you meet in a dark warehouse downtown and plot my murder. I would be cool with that. Peace.

Dissecting Our Addiction: Facebook

We all know, AS A FACT, that I'm usually an overall a decent person. Except when it comes to FACEBOOK. Then I'm a filthy, rotten skank; and so are you.


You know it's true. This is evidenced by the thousands of groups created on Facebook that are along the lines of "Facebook ruins my grades" or "I'd cut my fingers off before letting go of Facebook". We all know we devote a liberally sized portion of our lives to Facebook, but know one really knows why. Why are we up at 1:30 looking at the pictures from the weekend? Why do we burn so much brainpower in order to formulate a witty, and touching status? 


Well, Lets strip this whole Facebook thing down. Facebook was designed to: help you connect and share with the people in your life. That makes sense, all we're doing is interacting with other people, right? Well, not in a way humans normally do. Think about it. In face to face conversation you can't share pictures, tell 1,000 some friends your feelings, or browse someone's musical interests. Facebook dives deep into your life, leaving no feeling, interest, or accomplishment unturned. When people are exposed to this massive scale of emotion, they become addicted to it: the stories, the sorrow, the laughs, the amazing, and the absurd.Ideologically, facebook users have access to a deep and diverse system that, on a small scale, makes them...omnipotent. In other words, we are addicted to playing god. A creepy, computer savvy god.


I guess the real question is: is this bad for us? Depending on the circumstances, I would say yes for many reasons, most of them pertaining to me. Facebook can be a fun, and relaxing way to interact with other people, but when overdosed on, can make you into a emotion-sucking creeper (like me).


But then again I'm ridiculed for being absolutely psycho by my peers, so who knows? Message me on Facebook (hypocrisy) if you have other theories...or if you want my number so we can go on a hot date. Whatevs. Peace. 

Neglect and Kid Cudi

OMG. I last posted on the 5th. Woops. To be honest I'VE BEEN SWARMED BY A TYPHOON OF MENTAL AND PHYSICAL RAPE. Okay I had to get that out. I promise to blog diligently blah blah blah you get the point.

Since my last few posts have been all whiny boo boo hoo boo stuff, I figure I'll channel all my hatred against  humankind (not you of course) towards something fluffy and boring. Just kidding.
I LOVE KID CUDI.
I'm not the type of guy that usually listens to hip-hop and rap, and most of my friends would describe me as a greasy, trashy, rock fan. BUT, Scott Mescudi has given me reason to let my ears fancy that "hip" music all the kids are listening to. Unlike other rap artists, Cudi has really tapped into his soul and has used it as his musical thesis. You don't hear him hollering about hoes and gunning people down for money (Lil' Wayne cough cough), but rather he sings about what bothers and stirs his mind. Even though some of his songs are a little melancholy, its refreshing to hear music felt from deep down, not just shallow, sold out lyrics about purple drank. Another important feature Kid Cudi offers is his creative, and original beats. Not only does he include instrumentals from other, new-fangled artists (MGMT, Ratatat); his rhythms match the tone of his songs perfectly. This just adds to the overall submersed feeling you get from his music, and makes him a truly stand-out artist.

I would suggest his most popular songs as a starting point: Pursuit of Happiness and Soundtrack to my Life. If you were wondering about what music I listen to normally, I'd have to point you toward the band Chevelle and Breaking Benjamin. HOWEVER, I am certainly not limiting myself to those bands, or genre for that matter.

Well, bye.

SHORT POST MADNESS TUESDAY.

I keep promising people that I'll blog everyday and keep the topics interesting. Interestingly enough, I also tell people I'm going to stop over-using parenthesis and that rainbows are going to sprout from my anus. Too bad only one of those criteria can be met tonight.

I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK. It's not even senioritis, I just have seven dwarf's worth of work tonight (they were always doing something, watch that movie again). By writing this, I'm wasting sweet, sweet time. BUT, honestly I utilize my time as well as Rosie O'Donnel utilized the Richard Simmon's fitness fananza in the ninities. Figure that one out. Alas, I must end this blog prematurely (and I'm not saying anything clever to end this post so stop reading already).

Riding Solo

They say 2% of high school relationships last till marriage. But at the same time, 86% of students are involved in a relationship at some point during their high school career. What gives?


This conflict of interests, can be catastrophic for couples (just watch the movie Swimfan. That'll keep you up at night boys). Most argue that dating is a way to round yourself by learning from your experiences and the people you interact with. I'm cool with that, but sadly I'm a dry, crabby futurist; why date in high school if it will only bring tears on graduation day? People hate that about me. Perhaps that little futurist monster within me was spawned as a result of so many bad relationships (much like how Golem was created from lust for the One Ring. Great movies. Stellar quality). Sometimes I love that monster: he keeps me TGF (trashy girl free), and protects me from crazy chicks (seriously don't watch Swimfan, it will mess with you). Recently, I've began to hate the drawbacks of the imagined imps that haunt my mind. For one, I'm pretty lonely sometimes; girlfriends are (hopefully) always wanting to talk to you. More important to me though, is the fact that I'm loosing friends faster than a gambler with holes in his pockets (now re-read that in a twangy, hick accent). When the girl hates you, her friends hate you. Especially if you're shady on the ending details. So what is the best option?Truth is, I am only an asian guy lying prone on his bed trying to combat the world's problems via keyboard (not to be confused with a hippy), and I can't give you a "solve-all" answer. Except, that we are all different and must solve these problems in equally different ways. That sounded cheesy and idealized, but our differences and little defining characteristics (like how my left eye is extremely squinty when I smile) are really what makes it difficult to instigate a relationship, but naturally, are also what binds us together. And no, I am not a hippy.


I realize that this post was still pretty serious, and you are probably squirming from the awkwardness. Good. I love awkwardness. BUT, expect lighter, wittier, and sexier posts in the future. 
-Con