1. Why is it, that every time I wake up in the morning, my exact motions play out like this: open eyes, lift neck, bang head on useless metal decoration, curse the world, miss the alarm button several times and knock change off dresser, swing legs off of bed, hit left knee on dresser, yell some colorful street language, stand up, clutch hurting back, put change back on dresser, walk towards door, and hit right knee on doorframe. WITHOUT fail, this always happens. Am I really that dry and predictable? Or am I some kind of humanoid robot, that is utterly irresistible to the female gender?
2. How come schools don't provide nap time anymore? Now, before you scoff and say, "That Connor sho' is a triflin' fool", consider this: out of all age groups, teenagers need the most sleep. Think about having a special study hall right after lunch where they provide cots and gingerly play John Mayer in the background. Not only would that be clutch, it would be uber chill.
3. Why do men have nipples? Just kidding. Men have nipples because they look dynamite, bro.
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| OB- Original Bro. |
4. Why do seniors have to actually give an effort senior year? Why can't we frolic around in letterman jackets, whilst shoving dweebs into lockers like you see in the movies? Why am I not friends with Bartlbey Gaines from Accepted?
I realize that none of these are legitimate questions. But do you realize that I'm writing this post with my shirt off? Of course not. That would be silly, unless of course you had X-Ray vision, but that is also silly. I'm just a silly guy.
And a shout out goes to Trey Anderson, who is probably the bro-est bro to ever live. He carries a competition weight frisbee (180g).
And a shout out goes to Trey Anderson, who is probably the bro-est bro to ever live. He carries a competition weight frisbee (180g).
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