Question Time #2

Here are some more unanswerable questions:

1. Why can't women give good directions? We live in a technologically advanced age, why can't they simply just give us an address so we can actually use our GPS? Why do girl directions always sound like,  "okay so you know where that red thingy is by the highway? Yeah you're gonna go past that like 5 miles and then you're gonna see a homeless man selling crack. Tip him five dollars and he'll point you towards my house". The best part is, you'll be completely lost later, and you'll call them for help, but when they pick up there is just a chorus of squirrelly laughter because she and her friends were laughing about Taylor Lautner's abs.

Somewhere, a girl is crying.

2. What happened to rock music? Is there no hope? I know our local rock stations kind of stink, but modern rock artists certainly are not helping. C'mon guys. Don't let my favorite genre go to ruins.

3. Who cares about the speed of light, what is the speed of dark? Actually, no just kidding. I hate when people ask that question, thinking they've surely upset the balance of the universe with their witty questioneering. Darkness is the absence of light, in other words: exactly the opposite. So the answer is the same speed as light*.

4. Why can't term papers edit themselves? It's bloody 2010 for poop's sake.

5. Why do people repeat the exact same thing to you right after you say it to them? I can understand general things like, "sup man", but it really bothers me when I spend an entire day thinking of an absolutely ingenious comment to tell somebody. For example, If I say: "Hey bra, what's crackin?", would you say: "Hey bra, what's crackin?" right back? I hope not. If you do, I have been known to foam at the mouth.

*If for some insane reason my theory is wrong, please buy me a boat so I can row out to an island and live there, crying till the end of my days.

-Con